The Return! Err….. part 2

Remember how last year I had promised to give some entries to this dear dwarfpiss of mine? Bet you didn’t know I meant 9 months after the post they entry will come in. Well here they are. Im listening to the Mr Brown Show right. Hats off to them man, absolutely amazing sense of parody based humour. Let me recap what has been happening in the last 9 months:

In December of last year, other than the fact that the Kosovo issue had not been settled and that the EU signs a later to be doomed Lisbon Treaty, there were other astonishing things that happened. President Musharraf lifts his State of Emergency. Following which in another round of ground breaking news that can affect geopolitics; I attended the extremely fun WUPID tournament in KL.

It was really cool as Sethu and I were there to represent TP and it was a warm up for us. We got to see the broad spectrum of debating in the world with the Europeans and the Aussies. It was a great experience and I am hoping to get another chance to go again this year.

In other news during this tournament, Vladimir Putin gets voted as the Man of the year for Times, and we even had a breaking news round which was on the Kurds in Iraq and the Turkish government. It was cool as we were in a strong room and it was really nice to debate real time news as it is happening. But the last round was painful. We were in the bubble room with the CA, Omar as our chair. I hate the Bolivarian system. Never had I wanted to so badly just feign collapse as I was walking up to speak in my entire debate career.

And so not long after that we went to worlds in Thailand and once again it was a nice tournament (of course not as cool as WUPID) and I learned loads. It was the unofficial opening night when suddenly everyone goes like BENAZIR BHUTTO ASSASINATED! Everyone suddenly was jerking out of their mood to try to get into another’s pants and everyone was talking about it (never have I seen this). I even made a call back home just to confirm.

Personally I don’t like Ms Bhutto because of her track record and simple rhetoric. How does a person get caught for graft and corruption TWICE as PRIME MINISTER and still have the cheek to say that you are an honest person. Haiz even I am confounded at my peoples’ views on this.

2008 gets off with a bang and other than the fact that im still at Worlds and having fun; the bangs in some places have been as they have always been. Darfur, Palestine, Iraq and other skirmishes, hit around the world. Sub-prime crisis and a credit crunch cause inflation and rising oil prices. Only to fuel fears of a global US sparked recession. The worst weather patterns hit China with snow and Palestinians in a bid of desperation end up crossing into Egypt to find food and water. More freak weather in the US and Europe no doubt global warming had nothing to do with it.

The general election in Pakistan ends up with the opposition taking up the majority (surprise surprise). Chinese speaking Aussie PM Rudd finally gives an apology to the stolen generation of aborigines. Kosovo declares independence with two sides of the spectrum supporting and not supporting with an obvious reaction of support from the US and anger by Russia. And finally the infallible Fidel Castro gives his seat of power to his bro from the same mother. With continuous protest by the Tibetans on their freedom, the Chinese preparations for the Olympics go on well. Karzai ends up counting his blessings as a Taliban attempt to kill him goes all wrong. Karzai then shoots his mouth off out of relieve on invading Pakistan to which 200 million Pakistanis perform the famous ROFL (Rolling on the floor laughing).

More and more deaths from violence and unneeded conflicts and Nargis of Myanmar shows the ugly butt cheek Mother Nature by becoming the deadliest natural disaster since the tsunami. Weeks later the other butt cheek is shown with a deadly earthquake in China. Mugabe gets back his disintegrated office with a run-off win over the Morgan Tzangirai dude *sniggers*. Maybe McCain should hire his campaign manager. Speaking of which, the redneck from the southern pacific state of Arizona becomes the Republican Grand Poobah and awaits the Obama and Clinton Royal Rumble. Obama eventually wins and Clinton goes dang nabit and throws her support at her now Grand Poobah of the donkeys (Im serious they are called the donkeys and the rednecks the elephants)

A certain Ingrid Betancourt suddenly finds herself sipping wine in the presidential palace after Sarkozy shows a like of mind not expected of him. The Pope goes on the PR offensive by apologising for this and that including child molestation charges. After more killings and bangs happening, we arrive to the bangs of the Olympics. PHELP is AWESOMES as a particular friend of mine would say.

With that thank you for tuning into the Paki News and reliving the last 9 months in a space of nine minutes. This is Paki signing off. More to come no worries.